Summer 09’
I havent been on here in weeks
and it feels like ever since then my life has changed almost completely
new friends, new enemies, new challenges that i have to face. all before school starts.
new loves
and mistakes that i can never take back.
i have done so many things i regret and i have lost so much from them
i have lost friends, trust, and myself.
ive always thought that i can learn from my mistakes, and thats what led me to make them and not worry
but i have realized some mistakes you cant take back, and you arent ready to make.
the experiences that i have faced in the past few months
have been more severe than any mistake i have ever made before
and i would do anything to take them back
only few friends like halle or lauren have been helping me enjoy life, or at least enjoy life to the extend i am allowing myself to have.
so much weight is on my shoulders right now
i cant take it
ive been dealing with the pain in ways that no1 should and i regret that, but i cant seem to stop
summer has always been about fun and innocence but this summer has been about some fun, and most regrets. ive drifted away from my family, friends, and who i have always been.
im becoming an entirely different person. that i dont like
my personality has changed
and so has my life
i regret everything and wish i could start this summer over
but i cant
and that frightens me.
i can only hope that my life can turn around
and those few friends are helping me through all the trouble i have gotten myself into. and i love them for that.
under all of this bad, im still the same innocent girl who dances around the house and sings in the shower. the same girl who used to write stories and listen to music on full blast until my family barged into my room. the same girl who used to get in trouble for reading too late at night, and the same girl who needs her family and friends to help save her. the girl that was always smiling. inside i still am that girl. and i will always be that girl.
